Happy 2013! I am so happy to be popping in to say hello. I've really missed ye olde blog. I'm going to attempt a recap to tell you all about our year (brace yourself.)
2012 was a big year of change for us. I don't think that I've ever mentioned it here before, but for the last 5 years that we lived in LA we managed 2 separate apartment buildings. Early last year we had to go to court (I think there was brief mention of that here) to evict someone. Without going into all the details and court information the eviction basically turned ugly and the crackhead who lived directly above us started threatning our lives and more specifically the lives of our children. There were threats that he was watching us, that he knew when we were coming and going, etc.,. Police reports were filed, calls to Henry's school were made with strict instruction that we were the only ones allowed to pick him up. We never mentioned any of this of course to the children but somehow they figured it out and became fearful that something would happen to them. We were burnt out of managing and living in a 2 bedroom, 1000 sq ft apartment with 3 children. We were at major odds with our management company and ready to walk away from it all. In the middle of all this, I took a trip out to Boston for my birthday and for a long weekend spent with girlfriends. I really, really missed our life here and was ready for a yard, for seasons, for a complete 360 from the overwhelmingly stressful life we'd been living. The day after I came home from Boston, we had our final court appearance. It was all so exhausting for so many reasons. In late April/early May when our lives were threatened we decided that we were done with it all and so we quit on the spot. With no plan.
Henry really wanted to stay for the last day of school and I wanted that for him, too. So the day after school ended, I loaded up the children and we drove to Utah while we tried to figure it all out. Chris moved all of our belongings into a storage unit in the valley, finished up work and met us in Utah a week or so later. Utah was actually great. We stayed with my amazing brother and the kids were in heaven. It was so nice to not have the weight of managing a 30-unit apartment building on our shoulders anymore (or the crazy lunatic who was after us either). Some friends of ours in Boston were moving to Belgium for 6 weeks over the Summer and it was decided that we would come out and house-sit for them. So we started our cross-country road trip.
Chris and I had driven cross country twice before (but never with 3 kids!) So we took our time and soaked up every minute of it. It was somewhere between New York City and Boston that I started to have an internal freak-out. What on earth were were doing?? Did we really just throw everything we own into a storage unit and drive across the country? Ugh....what??
(George Washington Bridge, NYC)
I'm one for risks and adventure. Why not, right? I figured we had a 50% chance of things going our way or failing miserably and I'm always one for feeling hopeful. We made it to Boston around midnight - went straight to bed and then took the children to see this city we fell in love with 12 years earlier. Henry was born here and we moved to LA when he was about 5 weeks old. It was fun to show him the hospital he was born in and the apartment we brought him home to. I couldn't believe that we were actually here. We rented a home about an hour west of Boston on 4 acres in the country (that was still less than a 2 bed apt in LA!). I flew home a week or two later with Henry to attend my sisters wedding (Gorgeous, gorgeous, bride!) and then Henry and Kate started school. The new school was really hard on Henry. Lot's of tears, lots of "when will I make a friend?" which was so hard on me. A few weeks in, friends were made and we started to try to settle in (with none of our belongings :) The next few months were extremely difficult. When that 50% chance of things working out doesn't fall in your favor, life can become really hard. I launched my kickstarter project in September and am still amazed that it was even funded. The show of support for me meant more than the money that was rasied to fund this dream of mine. I was chest deep in a major depression since August and just could not pull myself out of it. I wasn't doing any of the things that I used to love doing. The days were long and just too much for me to bear. I couldn't wait for each day to be over. I have felt total desperation these last 5 months and cried more tears than I want to admit. Our sweet little Charlie turned 3 in November and was able to start pre-school 2 days later. After 4 days in school, his teacher approached me because she was 'very concerned' about Charlie. The speech and developmental therapies he'd be receiving while at school were not going to be enough and she didn't feel like her class could offer him what he needed. She's pushing for an official diagnosis for him. There's talk of autism, aspergers, lots of paperwork for me to fill out about his behaviors and tendancies. Dr's appt's, referrals, trying to get a diagnosis so we can move him into a classroom where he has a one-on-one teacher where he can get the help and therapies he needs. We are in the throws of it all now. It's exhausting. Isn't he a cutie pie? I love him so much. We are hopeful to have some answers in the next few weeks and will know what roads to take to best help our darling Charlie. Christmas was very low key- which is what we wanted. We made aebleskivers which is our Christmas morning tradtion. Henry, who failed his hearing test at school in September (and who has failed for a few years now) finally got a proper diagnosis on his condition and went in for surgery the day after Christmas. He's extremely hard of hearing in his right ear and so they removed his adenoids and put tubes in both ears. They are watching his eardrum to see if it's doing what they need it to do. If not, he will need to go back in and have reconstructive surgery on his eardrum. I feel so grateful to be close to Mass Eye and Ear Hospital. What a blessing to finally get this taken care of for him. My heart is full. He was a good patient. I think iPads in pre-op are pretty genius! I even got to wear 'pajamas' too!
That was pretty epic and exhausting to re-tell. I'm kind of a mess if you couldn't tell. It's taking everything in me to take care of these boys of mine right now. I am SO BEHIND on Kickstarter. I seriously wake up in the middle of the night with panic attacks because the rewards have not been sent out yet. I know you understand but know that it weighs heavily on me. I think we are about to round a corner here and I'll be ready soon.
I'm still not 100%. I just cannot pull myself out of this. I miss the old me. I miss all the things I used to love doing. I need to start doing more of them. It will be my 2013 resolution. Bear with me as I try to get back to normal. You guys are the best.
Wishing you a happy & healthy 2013!